What is Wrong with Harry?
by Angel Anastasia
Summary: Harry isn't the same after the death of Sirius Black. He now sees a muderous man named Erasmus that only he seems to see. Who or what is he? Is Harry only imagining him? Erasmus knows what he desires, and gives it to him in ways Harry could only imagine.
1. Default Chapter

Harry stirred in his sleep restlessly. His eyes were shut tightly as he absentmindedly clutched his head. He was dreaming. _Voldemort stood before him with a triumphant expression of malice. _

"_Potter, did you hear me?"_

"_No, you're lying!" Harry screamed. "Leave me alone!"_

_The man's thin white lips smirked. "You know the truth. It was you're fault alone that took the lives of your parents. It was you who destroyed the lives of Bertha Jorkins, that foolish old Muggle, and that boy in the graveyard. It is your doing that caused Podmore to be sent to Azkaban and die."_

_Vlodemort kneeled closer to Harry, crumpled on the ground._

"_And it is because of you, Potter, that your precious Sirius Black is trpped for eternity behind the veil. The existence of your body on this God-foresaken earth has caused far more damage than you could possibly imagine!"_

_"Shut up!" Harry yelled. "It was you. You were the one who started the first war. Everything is ruined because of your selfish desires. I know how it is to grow up like you."_

_Voldemort let a smirk across his pale face. "You're finally catching on. I just proved that theory moments before."_

_Harry gasped faintly. A surge of fear pulsated in his heart. _

_"Yes, you understand now. Ignore all those lies Dumbledore told you. He has told too many for years."_

_"No," he mumbled as his voice trembled. "I'm not like you!" _

_"Oh, you aren't? How do we differ Potter? Almost every part of our history is the same. You even look similar to me years ago. You have the ability to speak Parseltongue, and trust me, you posess Dark Powers. Let them free. Release them and resist them no longer!"_

__


	2. All That You Do Is Wrong

Harry covered his eyes tighter in his dream. The scene changed. Voldemort was gone, but the images encircled him. It was everyone that Voldemort had mentioned. Everyone bore a furious stare and shouted at him.

_"Its all your fault we're dead!"_

_"Die Potter! It should have been you!"_

_His parents struck his heart with their words._

_"We were foolish to have had you! Look what you've done!"_

_Sirius was the worst. "And I took you in when you had nowhere else to go! Ha! I should have taken and pitched you into the sea just as Hagrid said."_

_Cedric didn't even look at him. "Now my mother weeps for me and I can't bear for her to suffer. Cho was better off with me thatr you, I have all the talent."_

_Harry clutched his head and rocked on the floor. "Go away!" he screamed. "I didn't mean to!"_

_The figures dissapeared in a roar of fire and Voldemort's cruel laugh echoed in his ears._

_**"Harry, dear!" someone shouted from far away. "Wake up. Wake up dear!"**_

**_Harry felt someone shake his shoulders and slap his face eagerly. His eyes snapped open and the face of Mrs. Weasly was the first thing he saw. Her face was full of anxiety and pity. She stroked his cheek tenderly. Harry suddenly sat up and breathed heavily._**

**_"Calm down, everything is all right." she soothed._**

**_A pulling feeling erupted in his chest. Soon he found himself sobbing in Mrs. Weasly's embrace._**

**_"Shh.." she whispered. "Your safe. Everything is fine."_**

**_Harry trembled and cried harder into the woman's shoudler. "Mum," a weak voice spoke. "Is he okay?"_**

**_"Ron, go downstairs. Stay down there until I say."_**

**_Her voice was unlike her usually crisp order. It was frail and stange. Ron stared down at his friend weeping in his mother's grasp and said nothing. Harry never cired. He left and walked to the girls' room to tell the news._**

**_Once alone, Mrs. Weasly kissed the top of Harry's head and rocked him gently._**

**_"Harry, what did you see? I need to know."_**

**_He shook his head and tightened his body._**

**_"Please. I cannot help you if I don't know what is wrong."_**

**_Harry softened his tears slightly and tried to force his voice to speak._**

**_"They blame me," he whispered. "The all said I killed them and Voldemort kept telling me it was true."_**

**_Mrs. Weasly had tears flowing in her eyes now. She gripped him tighter and kissed him again._**

**_"Don't you ever believe it Harry. Not for a moment. All of that is a tool of you-know-who to drag you down. He's doing this Harry. Fight back."_**

**_"I'm tired of fighting, Mrs. Weasly." he whispered. _**

**_She could not find any other words to say. The tightness in her thought swelled as she contined to soothe him. _**

**_Minutes passed and Mrs. Weasly realized that Harry was alseep. She carefully placed him back onto the pillow and wiped his tear stained cheeks._**

**_"Be brave Harry," she said soflty. "We have faith in you."_**

**_The weeks went by and Voldemort attacked Harry's dreams almost every night. During the day, his scar constantly seared with pain and he walked around muttering to himself about it and his dreams._**

**_The Dreamless Sleep Potion could only be taken three times a week, which wasn't enough. Harry muttered about that too. If seated on the floor, he would rock and stare at nothing ahead. His behavior alarmed the Order and brought suspicions._**

**_"He's going insane, can't you see?" Lupin argued._**

**_"I know, it's that damn Voldemort getting into his head and brainwashing him." Moody growled._**

**_"If Potter had been practicing his Occlumency this wouldn't be a problem." Snape replied in the same way._**

**_"No," Dumbledore said. "This is something much worse than just dreams he should be blocking out. Voldemort is using something."_**

**_"But what? If he continues we'll lose Harry in his own mind." Lupin asked feebly._**

**_The headmaster did not answer._**

**_A week later there was news that two ministry workers were missing from their work._**

**_Missing Ministry Employees_**

**_Kidnap or Murder?_**

_Just yesterday the families of two ministry employees complained that they did not return after their job conducting new articles for the Daily Prophet, in which the two write for. No trace of struggle or murder have been found, and it has the whole Mininstry in an uproar._

_"I don't understand," says the secretary. "They were here just like they always were and just dissapeared." Both Dery K Hobbs and Francic Lestromberg have not left any traces of their existence. Some fear it was the work of the newly risen Dark Lord. "I have no doubt it was something to do with him," says Kevin Cahill, a worker in the Department of Magical Transpot. Until further information is found, this case in unknown."_

**"Blimey," said Ron as he read the article in the Daily Prophet. "The Ministry has it rough, don't they?"**

**Hermoine tapped her finger softly on the table. "Yeah, but why was the ministry attacked if you-know-who is behind it? Malfoy practically lives there."**

**Ron shrugged. "Beats me. At least its not happening to us. Nice to see them is a sticky spot for once."**

**Hermoine gasped. "Ron! Those men could be dead for all we know!"**

**"You know what I mean, don't have a cow!"**

**Harry was sitting across from them silently. For once his scar no longer pained him and he could think more clearly. The news of the ministry workers saddened him, but he could not help feel good because those men contributed in scattering lies about him and making his life hell. But as soon as he thought this scar throbbed horribly.**

**Another week went by and Harry felt things around him change. He would wake up and discover that something was always different. He found his trunk open and the invisibility cloak was gone. The Firebolt he had got from Sirius was lying on the floor as if it had been used. Harry figured Fred and George were at their usual pranks and perhaps Moody was using the invisibility cloak because his was gone. Harry thought nothing of it.**

**Despite that, Harry began to see things and hear a voice in his head telling him not to do something or just to annoy him. A man with a black hat always came to terrorize him about his dream.**

**Harry sat next to a window looking out. An image of Voldemort appeared on the streets, but he shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. Harry opened them and found nothing.**

**"Why do you continue to do this?" the voice asked him.**

**"Do what?" he replied out loud.**

**"You know what I mean. It's not wise to keep doing this."**

**Harry said nothing. He watched the empty street without realizing it was there. The voice no longer spoke. Harry knew that it told the truth. Something was wrong with him. It scared him a lot, but often times Harry figured it was normal.**

**The door creaked but he made no movement to see who it was.**

**"Harry?" Ginny asked soflty. "What are doing?"**

**He didn't respond. Ginny closed the door and sat down next to him. She noticed his vacant expression with sorrowful eyes and felt her heart sink.**

**"Harry, don't do this to yourself. Get you-know-who out of your head, he's destroying you."**

**He made no acknowledgment that he heard her. Ginny pulled a peice of his hair out of his eyes and stroked his face. Harry's eyes were now lit in fury. He jerked his head away from her and buried it into his knees.**

**Ginny felt the desire to weep in front of him but she fought it off. Instead she stood up and quickly left the room.**

**Ron and Hermoine saw her walk swiftly down the hall as she tried hard to not let her tears fall.**

**"What's wrong Ginny?" Hermoine asked worridly.**

**"Harry!" She almost shouted. "That's what is wrong."**

**They were quiet. Hermoine frowned at Ron who did the same.**

**"Don't talk to him," she went on. "He'll ignore you or get angry."**

**She continued walking walking and wiped her face.**

**"Ginny, we have to talk to him. If we don't you-know-who will get to him." Ron told her.**

**Ginny stopped but didn't face them. "He's already gone."**


	3. Erasmus

Two nights later the man appeared to Harry again.

"Leave me alone, Erasmus." he said bitterly.

"You know I can't do that Potter. I still need you to do something for me."

"I don't know what that is, and I don't want to do it anyway."

Erasmus pinned Harry against the wall and glared at him from under his black hat.

"No, you'll do it Potter. Things have got to change. You want them to."

"You're mad!" Jarry hissed.

Erasmus smirked. "Am I? How about you? Are you still in this world or in another? You've felt everything change, but that's not the change I'm talking about."

Harry grew panicked. He pulled on the man's arms but Erasmus simply pushed him to the ground.

"I'll come back, just be ready." Erasmus walked to the door and departed, leaving Harry shaking on the wooden floor. He didn't know how many minutes passed when the door opened again. He tightened his body and pressed his face harder into his knees.

"Harry, what is it?" Mrs. Weasley's voice asked as it trembled. "Tell me." She hugged him gently and pulled his face from its position. Harry whimpered. "Look at me, dont't be afraid."

"He's coming back," he whispered.

"Who?" she whispered.

"Erasmus."

Mrs. Weasley sighed and brushed his hair with her fingers. She got an idea but wasn't sure if it would work.

"Why was Erasmus here?"

"He comes a lot," Harry replied. "He tells me that there's a need for change and that he wanted me to do it."

"What does he want you to do?"

"I don't know," Harry said softly. "I don't want to listen to him or do what he wants me to do but I have no choice."

"Why not?" She asked, getting very interested in this Eerasmus.

"It's just the way he is. He killed those two ministry worker. I found that out."

Mrs. Weasly gasped. She gripped Harry on the shoulders and made him look at her.

"Who is he Harry? Is he the one that's been doing all this to you?"

Harry looked away. "Part of it."

For a few moments neither said a word. Harry wanted to move away from the woman's hold but he was afraid to upset her. A question he had answered forced its way out of him when time lengethened.

"Mrs. Weasley, what's wrong with me?"

She stopped stroking his arm with her thumb and gazed into his eyes.

"Why don't you tell us Harry? You're the one going through all this. We don't know how to help you."

Mrs. Weasley did not say more. How could she tell him that he was going insane before their eyes?

Harry said nothing. He stared blankly at the floor and turned away from her.

"I have to go downstairs," she went on. "Do you want to come with me?"

To his surprise Harry managed a nod. Mrs. Weasley smiled to herself. Finally he was coming out of his shell for a short time. She knew it would be short. It never lasted.

When Harry walked into the kitched Ron, Ginny, and Hermoine stopped in mid-conversation. They were astounded to see that he came down and inflicked their company with them.

"Hey Harry," Ron managed to say. "Want to play Exploding Snap?"

"I guess." He answered soflty. He sat down next to Hermoine and silently watched Ron begin his turn. At the same time, the three of them swelled with happiness as Harry laughed during the game. It seemed that things were getting better.

Four days passed and the nights moon shone through the windows. No one was awake except for Harry, who was purposely forcing himself to stay awake. He had the room to himself since Ron moved into a spare room, most likely because he feared him. Harry could understand why. He wasn't surprised.

Harry gazed onto the wooden floor, watching the light shine on it. He sat up abruptly. Harry got out of bed and peered closer to see what it was.

"Oh no," he whispered. On the floor was a simple black hat that he recognized immediatly. Harry walked over and picked it up to examine it. For some reason he had a strong desire to place the hat on his head. He tracked the brim of the hat and slowly did so. In the relection in the window, Harry saw himself. He didn't look too bad in it, he thought.

"Why did you put it on?" the voice said.

"I don't know," I just did." he answered plainly.

"Maybe he wanted you to put in on."

"Why would he want me to put on this hat?" Harry said smartly.

"Guess Harry. Why do you think he did?"

Harry looked away from his image and saw another form of himself standing a few feet away from him.

"Listen to me," it said. "All that you do is wrong. Everything. Your losing yourself in your mind, and get yourself out."

Harry flashed it angry eyes and faced it.

"You're lying!"

The copy image of him strode forward and pointed to the door.

"You'd better call for all of them to lock you up before you go and kill someone else."

Harry covered his ears and hissed, "I didn't kill anyone."

"Oh no? What about the time you found your cloak missing and your Firebolt on the floor? What about feeling out of place before those men went missing?"

There was a flash and Harry saw himself with a murderous glare standing over Francis Lestromberg.

_"Please!" he screamed. "I was forced, I swear! Don't kill me!" Harry took a dagger and sliced the man's throat. Dery K. Hobbs was already dead. The next moment he was dragging their bodies and throwing them over a cliff and into the sea._

"No!" screamed Harry. "I didn't kill them! It was Erssmus."

"Really? Did Erasmus bruise your arm when he pushed you against the wall too?" yelled Harry's other self.

"Yes," he said as he shoved the pajama sleeve up his arm.

Harry gasped. Where there had once been a large bruise in the crock of his arm was nothing.

"I don't understand," he whispered.

"Harry, listen to me. Fight Erasmus and do not let him take control. Get them to come in here now!"

Harry couldn't move or speak. He thought hard about what happened and what he could do if it continued.

"Starting to get the picture, Potter?"

He spun to his left and saw Erasmus standing casually against the opposite wall. The image of himself was gone.

"Get away!"

"Now, now, don't get all flustered. We need to discuss some issues."

"I don't want to listen to you!"

Erasmus smirked. "Potter, I'm, not real. You made me. You created me in your mind without any wish to do so."

"What are you talking about?" Harry hissed.

"I'm talking about your longings boy. I'm talking about your inner thoughts and feelings. You were tired of being lied to and laughed at. You were tired of being everyone's hero. The same went for the fact that all that you had seen was gone."

As Erasmus said this he walked closer to Harry and stopped in front of him to continue.

"So, I did it for you. When you were least expecting it, say when you were asleep, I awoke in your mind and took control. You had no idea. During these times, I kidnapped and murdered those writers for the Daily Prophet. You wanted them dead because of the lies they spread about you and Dumbledore. The morning when the cloak was missing and the Firebolt on the floor I attempted to go after the Ministry of Magic but failed. I did manage to snuff that pitiful Peter Petigrew. He and Bellatrix Lestrange were your targets. Does everything make sense now?"

Harry stood petrified. This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't! Was he actually losing his mind? Was that how he blacked out all those nights if Erasmus took control of him?

"There is one thing that I know. Deep inside you there's a feeling. It is a faint one, but I see it. It rests so deep that you are completly oblivious to its existence. It could change even more than what you already have. Think about it. What else do you desire?"

The stress was rising in his heart. Harry didn't know. He knew nothing. Erasmus touched the brim of the hat, and repeated what he said. A sudden realization struck him.

"The Order, Dumbledore." he gasped.

Erasmus smiled approvingly. "And what is it that I want you to do for me?"

The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. "To make a change."

"And how exactly are you going to do that?"

A feeling of relished hatred seemed to intoxicate his body as if he was administered with bitter antipathy. He knew what he was going to do. Erasmus smirked and laughed sofly in triumph. Harry had chosen a side, one that would leave destruction in his path.


	4. You're Harry!

Ginny Weasley made her way over to Harry's bedroom and hurried to see if he was all right. She had heard odd sounds that resembled scratching. When she reached the door Ginny knocked.

"Harry, is everything all right?"

There was no reply from inside. She knocked again. "Harry, is you're not coming out, I'm going in."

Ginny turned the handle of the door and slowly entered. Her mouth opened in horror. All along the walls were carvings of the name Erasmus. It was on the floor, bed posts, even the trunk lying at the foot of the bed. She forced herself to go forward and see if he was there.

"Harry?" she whispered hesitantly. "What's going on?" There was nothing at all to see. Ginny didn't like the situation she was in. It wasn't feeling right.

"Harry?"

There was an abrupt sound from the right ahead. Ginny flinched and stood stiff in fright. She wanted to call out his name again but was incapable of doing so. In the darkness she saw his form slivered from the pale moonlight. He pushed the closet door closed and the name Erasmus was etched in manic letter. Ginny was shaking in fear. Harry appeared haunting and evil His cold eyes were barely visible from beneath the shadow of the black hat. He seemed almost unreal in his black robes.

Ginny managed to calm herself and speak clearly. "Harry," she whispered. "What's wrong? I can help you."

His form was oddly relaxed and somewhat poised. She did not expect it when he at last uttered a voice.

"It's too late girl. Potter is no more."

Ginny stared with her eyes wide. "What? Harry, what are you talking about? Is everything okay?"

Harry's body casually walked over to her and smiled. She slowly backed away as he did so.

"Oh, but he squirmed around a bit to be honest, but I had him in the end. He took the coward's way out."

"What do you mean!" she exclaimed. "You're Harry!"

"It doesn't matter who I am," he replied grinning. "What matters now is that things will change. It can begin with you."

Behind his back Ginny saw him pull out a knife. She gave a frightened shriek and turned to run away. Harry grabbed her hair to stab her along the neck, but she twisted out of his grasp as the knife tore off a clump of her red hair. Harry's hat was knocked off his head. As Ginny escaped down the hallways screaming, he simply bent down and neatly set his hat back on his head.

On the way down the stairs, Ginny tripped and fell over the steps. She painfully landed and remained prostate until she realized Harry was only feet away.

"Go away!" she screamed.

Harry flashed a sly smirk and watched her scurry away. Ginny was running down the hallway to the kitchen when a force shoved her onto the carpeted floor. Harry was on top attempting to stab her again. She kicked his leg and crawled away before she suddenly felt a searing pain in the calf of her own leg. Ginny gave an ear-splitting scream and fell onto her stomach.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Harry said. "It will just make it hurt more."

Ginny wept into the carpet and gave upon moving to escape. She knew that was impossible.

"Ginny!" cried voices. "Is that you?"

"Help!" she shouted. "Please help me!"

People stumbled in. Lupin, Ron, Hermoine, Mrs. Weasley, and Dumbledore. All of them had an expression of disbelief when they saw what was happening.

"Harry," Dumbledore said quietly. "Stand aside."

"Potter does not exist anymore. He was weak and allowed me to take control of him."

The others gasped in alarm but Dumbledore's face flashed in realization.

"Yes," he whispered. "I know about you. Of course, you do not exist. I know why you do what you do."

"I figured you would," Harry remarked. "A man like you knows everything. It is a pity you were not able to keep Harry's mind sane. He me in his delusions."

No one spoke after that, but Harry was no finished.

"If you've managed to realize what I need to do I'm impressed, but I know neither of you will go down without a fight. If so, I am ready."

Dumbledore motioned for Mrs. Weasley and the children to back away. Lupin took his place next to the man and took out his wand.

"Let Ginny go," Dumbledore ordered.

"I have to do this," he replied. "It needs to be done."

Harry swiftly grabbed the girl and tossed her into the kitchen. He rushed to slam the door but Dumbledore leaped through just in time. He tumbled onto the floor and quickly got to his feet. A slam on the door sounded Lupin's collision with it on his pursuit. Harry immediately pointed his wand from his pocket at Dumbledore and, shouted a spell that sent the man flying towards the other wall, and temporarily immobilizing him. Harry could see the panic of his face.

"Open the door!" Lupin shouted.

Harry quietly took the shovel from the hearth of the fireplace. He backed into the wall and glared fiercely at the doorknob.

"Lupin, don't!" Dumbledore shouted.

It was too late. The moment he stormed in Harry swung the shovel and nailed the man squarely in the face. Lupin yelled in pain and flew backwards. Ginny screamed and Harry could hear the others on the other side do the same. Lupin was not able to get up and blood was running down his face as though he had it poured. Harry slammed the door shut again. He was still glaring angrily, but a smile soon covered his face.

"I suppose I'll do it one at a time."

Ginny dragged herself across the floor to escape him but the shovel beat against her back and she collapsed with a scream.

"You're Harry Potter!" she cried. "You're Harry Potter."

He smiled as she reiterated the sentence numerous times in a weak voice.

"Sorry, girl, he can't hear you. I'll be sure to let him know when you're dead." Harry let the shovel drop.

He raised his wand. "Avada Kedav-"

Dumbledore had regained his body movement and toppled Harry over. He kneeled over on his stomach and held his arm across his throat. Harry choked but could not get him off.

Dumbledore raised his wand and shouted a spell that Harry was unfamiliar with. At once his head burst with pain and he squirmed under the man's grip as he screamed.

"What are you doing?"

"Giving you back your sanity Harry."

Dumbledore watched pitifully as he twitched in pain. Only minutes passed when Harry blacked out. Dumbledore examined his unmoving form and woke him up.

"Ennervate."

Harry's eyes opened slowly and he gazed around with frightened eyes.

"Dumbledore, he's going to come back again! I don't want him to come back."

"Harry," he answered. "There is no Erasmus."

"Yes there is!" Harry exclaimed. "He talks to me."

Dumbledore shook his head and pointed his finger at the boy's forehead. "There is no Erasmus, it's all in here. It's all in your head."

"No! You don't see him like I do!"

"Harry! Listen, things have happened to you that drove you insane. You still are. Understand that Erasmus is something that your insanity caused you to see."

Harry curled into a ball on the floor and cried. The headmaster tried to calm him but Harry started talking.

"Sir, I was the one who killed the ministry people and other things but I didn't know I was, I swear. I don't even know what happened now. I'm sorry."

"When you get some help you can overcome these problems. As for not knowing what you've done I understand, but things will never be the same."

Harry looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Sir, get rid of me. I don't care how, just do it, please."

Dumbledore stared sadly at him. "I cannot do that, Harry. I suggest that you do not attempt yourself. Things will get better, I promise you."

Harry did not reply. As he came to realize that Mrs. Weasley and his friends entered the kitchen he was grateful that Dumbledore stupefied him before he saw their faces.

The End

Got this from Stephen King's "Secret Window, Secret Garden". I changed a little of it. Just thought I'd write about it.


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